


Eventide

by VeronAleen



Category: Babii, Polca
Genre: Falling In Love, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Love Poems, M/M, Mild Smut, Muse - Freeform, Strangers, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:01:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28219632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeronAleen/pseuds/VeronAleen
Summary: Tay, a poet experiencing writers' block found his muse in Gun which he met in a coffee shop one eventide. He managed to write a collection of love poems he'll ever publish dedicated to Gun
Relationships: OffGun - Relationship, TayGun
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Eventide

Tay stared at Off for a minute before he smiled at him. He used the straw of his cup to stir his coffee gently until the vanilla was fully mixed with it. The whole café seemed to be quiet for hours now since most of the customers are busy working on with something on their own tables, though there are few who are accompanied by someone they know—be it their friends or their lovers

They’ve been staying for a while now. Random songs were being played inside, matching the peaceful ambiance of the place. The view of the setting sun gives a sense of satisfaction to Tay’s eyes, as he watches the color of the sky turns into shades of pink and orange from clear blue.

“This is awesome, Tay. I love this set about friendship!” Off’s reaction made him chuckle. It wasn’t the first time for him to see his friend being excited about another book that he’ll publish. He’s a known writer after all, but since he goes by the pseudonym Nolan Reeve, he still enjoys his usual lifestyle without being bugged by his fans. It was only Off and –

“Hey, Tay you have another journal? What’s that?”

Tay was caught off guard and it was too late for him to catch Off’s hand, holding the journal which was just resting on the side of his seat earlier. He tried to reach for it, but the space between the two of them won’t even help.

Off starts scanning the journal and Tay couldn’t do anything about it anymore so instead of running after Off who’s now ready to stand up and leave his seat, Tay just got back on his chair across his friend and slightly scratched his nape. Off’s eyes shifted from the journal to his friend, slightly suspicious because of what he had read in Tay’s journal. He then slowly sat down with the journal still in his hand, careful enough not to let it slip just incase Tay tried to steal it away from him.

“Tay, what’s this?”

“A set of poems?”

“Yes, I know! But I mean, how did you end up writing this?”

Tay closed his eyes because of frustration. He thought that he shouldn’t have brought the journal with him. He was so cautious not to let anyone get hold of it for he has no intention of publishing its contents. Now that his friend was able to see it, he won’t be able to do anything but to think of a better way on how to get out of this mess.

Off slowly read the contents of the journal, scrutinizing every part and every entry, not leaving a single line, softly but loud enough for Tay to hear. As much as Tay would like to cover his ears, he couldn’t even for every line tells a story of him and the muse behind the pieces he won’t ever publish

* * *

**Entry 1**

_I remembered how I first saw_

_Your heavenly figure without a flaw_

_This desire building upon me, I foresaw,_

_How do I get you, should I just withdraw?_

It’s been countless nights already and Tay has been stressed for he couldn’t think of any topic or idea of what he should write. He only has few months before he submits his work to his editor who had been calling him almost every single time of the day just to ask for an update but he has nothing to say, for he hasn’t done anything at all.

That’s when Off recommended a shop to him; The Gente Café just a thirty-minute drive from his new condo. At first, he was hesitant for he’s not even into the café. Tay is more of an introvert who prefers to work at home alone, whilst feeding himself with heated pizza that he had kept in his fridge for a day, or a bowl of his favorite chocolate cereal he always loves to eat. But it feels like his room became too closed for him to think of new ideas. There were even days that he won’t like to get up on his bed to start a word or even a letter in his journal.

Tay arrived at the place one eventide; the time when his brain is most active. The Café was beautiful just like what Off told him—huge potted plants placed on every corner, with some even hanging on the ceiling giving a countryside theme vibrant in the whole place. Even the lights gave him a feeling of peacefulness as he sat on one of the wooden chairs offered to him by the server.

But out of all the things or person he saw, only one catches his attention; the same person who made him a regular of the place—a cute guy which he always sees with a sketchpad and set of pencils, sitting at the same corner of the café just next to his table.

That day, Tay thought he finally get to know someone whom he wants to see every day before the sun sets and get devoured by the dark night.

* * *

**Entry 2**

_This feels like I’m slowly being eaten_

_Spell has been casted, don’t think it’ll be broken_

_As I try to avert, the more it’ll tightens_

_So, then I concurred and prayed to heavens_

_A spell called love, casted upon me_

_You got my eyes; now how could I flee?_

_A spell called love; how can I be free?_

_Afraid this story may lead me to tragedy_

“You draw beautifully”

“Thank you”

“Hi, I’m Tay, Tay Tawan Vihokratana”

“I’m Gun Attaphan Phunsawat. Please to meet you”

Days—after days of watching the guy, he finally took the courage to approach him. He wasn’t sure how he was able to do it though. Honestly, Tay wasn’t the type of guy who talks the first one for he’s often anxious about starting conversations. But for some reason, the guy next to him seemed to make him feel comfortable. Probably because of the way he smiled with his dimples showing on both sides of his cheeks painted with a pink blush, or because of his plump lips carefully sipping on his drink. Tay wasn’t sure when it started. All he knew was the guys started to visit his dreams, not leaving his unconsciousness every dawn, making him smile for almost every minute. Everything was just too fast that he wasn’t even sure if it’s real, or if **_he_** was real.

Gun’s like the only star he tends to see, shining brightly, twinkling above the sky covered with colorful hues. He shines so brightly that his eyes couldn’t leave him for a second or two. It was something that Tay never felt before, until he found himself praying to the heavens, wishing that he’ll get to see Gun kissing him goodnight.

“You’re a writer?”

“A poet is a better description”

Gun smiled at him teasingly, staring directly in his eyes as if sucking every energy, he has. Tay couldn’t even cut the stares, he was drowning with Gun’s dark eyes which seem to hold the galaxy, making the sight worthwhile.

“Are you popular?”

“Maybe?”

“I don’t know you though. Are you using a pseudonym?”

Tay isn’t sure why he wanted to be more transparent with Gun. No one gets to know the reason behind why he was using Nolan Reeve, not even his editor, not even his closest friend Off. But the thought of Gun clinging on his arms whilst staring at the sky gives him a different pleasure that only his heart can feel as if the person hiding behind his name was given a new hope to be with someone he would like to be with.

“Nolan Reeve”

“Nolan Reeve? What does it mean?”

“It’s an anagram of **_Never Alone_** ”

Gun seemed to be pleased with the answer he got from Tay which made him smile. Once again, Tay felt like his heart bumping as if it’s about to explode. Gun’s fingers keep on running through the pages of his journal, reading the lines of his work, eyes glittering because of the lines he’s seeing. It was the first time for Gun to know someone who writes so well that his heart can feel every part of the pieces Tay had written.

“Past, Present, Future, which do you think is the best?” Gun randomly asked, it actually came form one of the lines of Tay’s piece. A question that he never intended to answer so he left it there hanging on his journal with the hope that someone will be able to help him finished the piece. Tay reached for the notebook from Gun’s hand as he removed the cap of his red pen.

“The past makes me want to die of regrets, the future makes me want to stay awake of anxiousness, so let me stay with you in the present even for a short while” he said, as the tip of his pen touches the surface of a page. Gun’s smile became even brighter, amazed with how Tay was able to answer the question naturally as if he already has the words to reply even before he asked him—but Gun was wrong with that, for Tay just got the answer at the moment Gun looked at his eyes, making his heart skip a beat in every second whilst facing him.

“This is the first time I get to see you write”

“Because I wasn’t able to find any inspiration”

“So, you were able to find your muse now?”

Tay nodded, watching Gun get back on his seat as he whispers his name in the thin and cold air of the café.

* * *

**Entry 3**

_I asked an ally, to this spell he may aid me_

_To save my skin whenever in glee_

_For just a view of you makes whee_

_But with his words, I fell on my knee_

_If this is fate, how do I dree?_

“I have something to tell you”

“Yeah what is it?”

“I finally found my muse”

“That’s good to know!”

Off exclaimed upon hearing those words from Tay. Finally, after weeks of staying up, suggesting and recommending ideas to his friend, Tay was able to find his muse already. It’s not that Off’s complaining, but it was the first time for Tay to lose his motivation in writing to the point that he needed to butt in with his business just so he could help him.

“I’m happy for you, Peng. Now you won’t be needing to worry about your deadlines”

“Off, how can you say that you’re in love?”

Off wasn’t expecting that question from his friend. He saw how Tay starts to act shyly, making him smirk. It was an interesting sight for he had never seen his friend with flushed cheeks whilst scratching his nape. Tay doesn’t want to look obvious, but Off already read him in an instant without him realizing it.

“I’ll say this based on experience”, he cleared his throat and then fixed his posture so he could directly face Tay, “I wanted to see that person every day, I wanted to protect him, to watch him smile and play with my hair, the way how his eyes handle my galaxy of whys and the way his cheeks flush because of my silly jokes. I love how he makes me feel the butterflies. That’s the moment I said to myself that, I love this guy and I don’t think I’ll be able to start my day without seeing him”

Tay felt afraid yet happy with the thought that he was finally able to answer the questions which had been haunting him for nights already. All the things that Off had told him are just the same he’s been feeling whenever he’s with Gun.

“Why did you ask though? Do you have someone you like?” Off teasingly hits him with his elbow whilst smiling from ear to ear.

“No, of course not”, Tay denied as he flicked his fingers to Off’s elbow, “You aren’t telling me something Peng. Do you have a boyfriend?”

This time, it was Off who smiled shyly, “I do, it’s been months since we’ve been dating”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”, Tay stared at his friend sharply.

He wasn’t actually mad, but Off never did this to him before. He was always vocal, so he wasn’t sure why Off kept it to him as a secret when he’s been together with his boyfriend for months.

“I was shy, that’s why and you were also experiencing writer’s block, I don’t want to celebrate when you’re having a hard time”

“Who is he?”

“You don’t know him”

“How will I know him if you won—”

“Gun”

Tay froze, he wasn’t able to talk and just stared at his friend for seconds as if his tongue was caught by something.

“His name is Gun. Gun Attaphan Phunsawat”

* * *

**Entry 4**

_Eventide, a lustful night with him_

_Eye’s wide open, I wanted to scream_

_How do I curse when you’re a team?_

_Heart was heavy, tears with gleam_

_Eventide, the hour for dreams_

_Heated twirls, heated skins_

_Whispers, moans and hums_

_Cries for pleasure, plea for your man_

“Tay, come over to my place, I’ll introduce Gun to you”

That was the last message Tay received from Off today. His head was dizzy because of too much alcohol he had. He wasn’t even sure why he was now standing in front of Off’s place at this late hour since it was too late for him to read the message from his friend too.

It was probably the part of Tay hoping that the Gun whom Off was telling him was different from the person he likes, that may be, there’s a small chance that Off wasn’t actually Gun’s boyfriend and they just got the same name. But when Tay unlocks the door of Off’s apartment with the spare key he has, the moans coming from the room of his friend made him weak.

Tay’s every step was heavy. As much as he would like to stop himself from being curious, his feet won’t even cooperate with him. He walked his way until he’s facing Off’s room door. The sounds were getting louder and it feels like it’s piercing both of his eardrums—not because he never heard cries like these before, but because the please seems so familiar that his tears start to form in his eyes. The voice, the whimpers; they were too familiar to him that he could even imagine the face of the person who’s making it.

He slowly twisted the knob, his sight getting blurry because of the alcohol kicking in his system, but the sight of the man he’s been dreaming of, lying on his back underneath his friend was too clear for him to see. Both of the men’s clothes long forgotten on the floor, the cold room was filled with lustful atmosphere, nothing could be heard but the sound of skin slapping and whimpers coming from two bodies making love on the bed.

The way Gun arched his back with the pleasure Off’s giving him, leaving trails of butterfly marks on his skin, sucking every part of him; the way Off made him felt like he was the most beautiful in his eyes, whilst calling his name in every thrust—the scene’s too painful to watch.

He was left frozen, watching with tears rushing through his drunk state. He wasn’t sure how long he’s been standing there; all Tay knew that time was he was nothing but someone who’s been in denial since he heard Gun’s name from his friend. But this view was more than enough to slap him with reality. Until Gun’s eyes caught him, making him flinched and close the door in an instant. Gun wasn’t sure of the figure he saw, he thought that he was too intoxicated with Off’s breath and kisses that he didn’t even bother anymore to stop the man above him, forgetting the man behind the door which is now closed.

It feels Tay lost all of his senses. He clenched his chest because of too much pain he’s feeling inside. The sounds of longing could still be heard on the other side of the door but Tay’s hands are too weak already to grip on the knob.

Maybe loving him was dumb, dark, and cheap, he ignored all the sirens and now he’s paying for it. He left Off’s place not knowing where to go for Gun was like a steady place to let down his defenses, and now that he saw him being owned by someone, he suddenly felt homeless.

Now he’s lost

* * *

**Entry 5**

_Invisible I am, to the ground I fell_

_A devil within me pact me to hell_

_The pain running my veins made me ill_

_If time keeps moving, my heart will be killed_

“You’ve been away for weeks, Tay. Where are you?”

Tay hugged himself as he felt the cold breeze of the night touching his skin. His phone had been kept in his pocket whilst his earphones are plunged to his ears. As much as possible, he still wouldn’t like to talk to anyone, even Off. But it seems like his friends are starting to get worried and he’s been getting countless messages and emails from them.

“Finding solace”

Off became quiet on the other line. At times like this, he knew already that Tay doesn’t want to talk and he won’t talk even if he pushes him. They’ll just end up having a fight and worse, Tay might really cut communication with them. He was just lucky that Tay picked up his call at this hour—at least he has an idea that his friend is still breathing at three am.

He needed this. He needs time for himself for the pain he felt when he witnessed that scene was too much for him to bear. He never expected that loving someone this fast could leave a wound in his heart to the point that it triggered something inside him—something powerful, something dark, something that made him felt that he was never someone’s favorite despite being known by most. Maybe it was too much for some or maybe, if someone heard his story, everyone will just laugh about it thinking that he was just overreacting. How can someone be this overdramatic when he just got to know the man for months? But Tay was never normal; maybe poets were never normal. When everyone’s sound asleep at night, a poet could ever be.

It was the first time for Tay to feel like this—he felt lonely and desperate—well despite being alone for most of the time, he never felt as lonely as he is right now. He was desperate; too desperate for him to run away from the city and find a place where he could be at peace, but to his dismay, no place was better than the café where he used to watch the eventide—no place was better with Gun next to him.

“Give me three more days,” he said, as he cut the call. Tay closed the windows and walked towards the small table next to his hotel bed to get his journal.

**Random Entry, 3:00 am**

**Nolan Reeve**

_Emotions are climbing, Walls of heart’s burning_

_Hands are trembling, in my head, I’m bluffing_

_Choices are shown, I’m holding ‘till dawn_

_Thorns are being grown in my breast’s wide lawn_

_In the end, I’m broken; In the choices handed_

_My name’s hidden_

—Maybe I was never in your choices

I just thought I was

“This is crazy”

“Why?”

“Were you in love or anything? This is the first time you’ve written something about love!”

“Really?” both of them turned their gaze to the cute guy approaching their seat, “He never wrote anything about love?”

Tay’s eyes followed Gun as he slowly took his seat next to Off. Gun’s lips touch Off’s cheeks, almost close enough to reach his neck. It’s been days already since Off introduced Gun to him as his boyfriend, it was inevitable so Tay couldn’t do anything but to support his friend and act as happy as Gun when he realized that his boyfriend is friends with him.

Tay looked down on his feet, biting the side of his lips until he tasted rust. He should be used to see this scene for he’ll get to see more of this in the future—actually he had seen more than this.

“Hi babe”, Off instantly reached for Gun’s hand resting on the table’s surface and intertwine his fingers to his, “He’s amazing, isn’t he? He can just write anything!”

Gun’s dark eyes were fixed on the journal and a glint of despair was seen in his eyes although there was no one to understand it but him. He looked at Tay with a smile on his lips, slowly nodding his head, “He is”

The latter stood up with hand fisting. How will he able to act normal in front of them when he could feel his heart being crumpled? “I think I should leave now, Off, Gun. I still need to meet Arm for the planning of the new book cover”

He said, not waiting for both’s answer. He got the journal, leaving the other one behind, and walk his way to the entrance of the Café. Tay tries to be collected while he was walking because he doesn’t want to gather too much attention from the other people. He’s keeping himself calm with his eyes forcedly close before he took a deep breath and opened the door.

Tay was just a few steps away from the Café when he heard the door creaked followed by his name being called by someone familiar to him.

“Tay!” He doesn’t want to face him anymore, but Tay knows that it’ll be a bit rude for Gun was not at fault for what he’s feeling right now so despite the tears he’s trying to stop from falling, Tay took the courage and face the guy with a smiling face.

“What is it Gun?”

“You left your other journal” he replied, raising the journal that Tay left.

Tay walked back to him and reached for the journal in Gun’s hand, “Thank you, I’ll leave now”

“Was it me?” it may be insensitive, but Gun doesn’t want to filter his words anymore, “These poems on your journal, it was me, right?”

Hearing those words from Gun made Tay froze. It feels like he was struck by something sharp that he could feel himself in pain despite not being wounded. Gun wasn’t dumb; he knew from the moment that Tay told him about his muse, the man was already developing something for him. But Gun loves Off so much that he couldn’t look at Tay the way he looks at him.

“I’m sorry. Never thought that forgetting you isn’t as easy as falling for you. I needed to write everything down just so I could be in peace” Tay managed to say between his cracking voice. As much as possible, he doesn’t want to speak anymore for he’s afraid that his tears will eventually trickle on his face, much more to this, he’s afraid that Off might now be wondering where Gun is.

“I love Off”

“I know”

“I’m sorry”

“You shouldn’t be. My feelings for you isn’t your responsibility”

Gun stayed quiet for he doesn’t have any words to say for Tay anymore. He would like to comfort him, but he knows that it’ll just make him feel worst. He looked down on his feet, contemplating if he should turn around to leave Tay or not.

“I’m giving this to you. This is yours, to begin with”, The shorter just stared at Tay’s hand offering the journal that he was just holding earlier, “There’s still one last piece that you haven’t read”

Tay held Gun’s hand to give the journal and then ran away from the place, leaving Gun dumbfounded. He opened the journal once again until he reached the last page. Tears start to trickle down his face, but his lips curved a genuine smile as he read the last entry.

**Last Entry**

_I’ve written these hoping you’ll know_

_Through these I’ll be able to show_

_Too late, I won’t be able to embow_

_How beautiful love could have grown_

—I’ll always admire you from a distance

My Eventide


End file.
